I just wanted to tell you
by Deezaster82
Summary: (G1) The Autobots find Starscream on the side of the road, bleached, covered in energon and traumatized. His claims sound genuine, so they accept his request for asylum. But how will his presence affect his new companions and those who care about him, perhaps more than they should? ( multiple pairings. This is not a h/c story.)
1. Unexpected arrival

Continuity: G1 ( will I ever write something else than G1, I wonder?)

Warning for this chapter: Mention of violence, mention of non-con (rape), mention of Mpreg, cross-faction pairings. Some nerdy stuff and mildly disturbing things.

Pairings: Megatron/Starscream, Ratchet/Starscream, Optimus/Starscream, Skyfire/Starscream.

**I just wanted to tell you...**

**Part 1: Unexpected arrival**

It was a clear spring day. The sky above the Ark was a pretty azure blue that could have made the laziest of bots want to go out for a walk.

But Wheeljack and Skyfire couldn't know that, for they had spent the whole morning in the lab, working on experiments and tinkering with new prototypes.

"Could you give me your opinion here, Skyfire?" Wheeljack asked, turning from the device he was working on and toward his scientist friend.

The bigger Autobot didn't acknowledge him; he was too focused on his own project, a culture of sorts.

Skyfire might have looked like he was in deep concentration over his work, but Wheeljack knew him well enough to tell that the shuttle was resolutely absent, lost in his own little world. To pull him out of his reverie, the engineer extended a hand to gently pat the other scientist's arm. "Skyfire? Are you with me?"

Skyfire blinked and finally glanced at his colleague. "I'm sorry, what?" he croaked, his voice hoarse since he hadn't spoken much that day.

"I have a concern here," Wheeljack explained, pointing at his half-finished work. "Do you think I should increase the resistor using a single iron wire or two crossed aluminum ones? I would like for it to provide the system with a resistor of 45 ohms while not risking the device here to heat up exceedingly. Do you think a double wire would do? I'd rather not isolate it."

Skyfire rubbed his face once and looked at what Wheeljack was showing him. "To be honest, I have no idea, 'Jack. You know, I'm a xenobiologist, I don't know much about engineering."

"Oh...I'm sorry," Wheeljack said, looking a bit embarrassed. "I thought you had electricity courses back at the University."

"Indeed, I had electricity courses in my general courses program, along with physics, chemistry and advanced mathematics, but they were all theoretical. In the third grade, we had the possibility to take practical electricity courses, but I chose another option. Electricity wasn't very useful for the subject I chose, which is biology as you know."

"Okay..." Wheeljack went back to his trinket. "Never mind then, I'll work something out on my own."

"I know someone who took the practical electricity courses, though," Skyfire added in as an afterthought, his expression suddenly bitter and dreamy at the same time, which not only looked weird, but very unusual to the engineer.

Wheeljack put his tool down for a moment. "I suppose I don't need to ask who you are talking about."

For a klik, the shuttle's face brightened.

"He was interested in everything you know," he told his friend. "If it had been up to him, he would have taken all the options proposed to us. Electricity, among other things, was a favorite of his. Do you know he designed many devices back then?"

As usual, whenever he spoke about _him_, Skyfire had that little bright light in his optics and a virtual glow to his face plates. Wheeljack, who was the closest to a friend to the shuttle-mech since he had joined their cause, couldn't help feeling sorry for him.

"I know," he replied. "Word has reached my audios that he designed- and built- his null ray himself."

"I know that too..." Skyfire sighed, brutally reminded that his old friend had for long changed for the worst. "I'm sure you would have liked him a lot back then," he added, as if to further hurt himself.

He had been asked, advised and prompted, time and time again, to forget about his old partner who had welcomed him back in his new life only to turn back on him, going so far as to try terminating him. But the memories from another time were still strong and fresh in his processor, six millions of years passing like nothing while he had been trapped in the ice, blissfully unaware of the tremendous changes his world had been subjected to.

His feelings hadn't changed either. It was nearly impossible for him to accept that the Starscream he had known was no more.

He still loved him as dearly as he did back then. The Autobots didn't know. He didn't have the spark to tell them, to make them pity him even more than they already did.

Wheeljack expelled air through his vents. "Possibly," he replied carefully. "Skyfire...it's okay to remember, but you need to move on. The Starscream of old stayed in the past. The mech we know nowadays resemble nothing you told us about him."

"I can't believe that, Wheeljack." Skyfire shook his head. "I'm sorry."

The engineer patted his friend's huge forearm gently. "It will be alright, you'll move on you when you are ready."

They were disturbed as the door to their lab opened and Prowl's head peaked in. "I'm sorry to intrude," the Autobot second-in-command politely said. "Optimus is requesting Skyfire's assistance for an emergency."

"Alright, I'm coming." The shuttle former unfolded from his seat, nodded at Wheeljack and followed Prowl out. "What does Optimus Prime need?" he inquired.

"I don't have much information right now," Prowl supplied, looking slightly annoyed for not having complete control of the situation. The lack of information upset him. "I only know he wants you to rejoin Jazz at these coordinates." He sent said coordinates through a data-burst. "He said you have to get there as fast as you can."

"There's no time to lose then," Skyfire stated, walking faster toward the exit.

oOo

Moments earlier:

"Check that out, Sunstreaker!" Sideswipe shouted at his brother before speeding up on the road, his engine humming loudly as he increased in RPM.

"Is that supposed to impress me?" Sunstreaker mocked him, catching up with his twin only a few seconds later. "My opinion is that you overrated your new engine, again."

"Who said I pushed it to its full potential yet?" Sideswipe bluffed, trying to push some more energon through his injectors along with compressed air, to avoid a fatal slow-down.

The golden Lamborghini next to him didn't buy it. Inwardly worried for his twin's connecting rod, as well as for his own chassis (overheated engine exhaust gas did leave a dirty mark on one's finish), he decided to play along anyway. "Ok, ok...slow down, I can't follow you without overtaxing my own engines. They are rather dear to me so I would hate to break 'em."

That did it quite nicely. Sideswipe immediately slowed down. "I told you," he boasted. "I'm the fastest now!" The red front-liner was secretly relieved to be able to cool down; he had almost broken something there.

A flash of light suddenly blinded him temporarily and he looked up- as much as he could in his alt-mode- noticing something shiny in between the trees bordering the road.

"Hey, Sunny, you saw that?" he asked.

"Saw what, now?"

"In the trees, some kind of light...or maybe something is reflecting light. You want to go get a better look?"

"We might as well," Sunstreaker huffed. "Since we are supposed to be on patrol here."

They hit their brakes and turned around in a perfect example of synchronized coordination, driving back to where Sideswipe had seen the oddity. They returned to their bi-pedal mode as soon as they reached the spot.

"Oooh lookie!" Sideswipe almost squealed, not believing his luck.

There, on the ground among broken tree branches, they found a crashed Seeker. He was in a really bad shape too; the mech was covered in his own energon.

"Now that's exactly what I wanted for my creation day, 'Sides. Too bad it isn't my creation day..." Sunstreaker approached the immobile Decepticon carefully, poked him in the aft with the tip of his gun and, as the mech didn't move at all, kneeled next to him.

"Is he dead yet?" Sideswipe inquired, kneeling next to his brother to check the seeker out. He extended a hand and bent the flier's already damaged wing some more. A faint groan of pain escaped the mech's vocalizer, but aside from that, there was no reaction. The mech didn't even move.

"Apparently, he's still alive. But if you want my opinion, he won't be for long," Sunstreaker said, grinning.

"Then maybe we should finish him off now?" Sideswipe pulled his own gun and pressed it against the Decepticon's helmet.

"Wait, I'll turn him over. I want to see his face when you kill him." The golden twin did just that.

"Oh Yesss! Jackpot!" Sideswipe now actually squealed. "It's the Screamer himself."

Starscream couldn't see them, as his optics were black, which meant he had drifted into unconsciousness. His dark face was perhaps the only perfectly recognizable part of him; the rest was bleached, with the exception of the purple symbol on his wing. There remained hints of red on his chest and pelvis, but for the rest, he looked like any other generic-gunmetal grey seeker, any generic- and too damaged to survive- seeker.

"Ooh! This is too precious!" Sunstreaker stroked a grey cheek lovingly. "The infamous Air Commander Starscream offered to us, so vulnerable, so close to termination."

"See, Screamer," he addressed the unaware mech, "we're not cruel like you, we'll grant you a quick, painless death. We'll stop your suffering and then you'll never torment anyone ever again." He was aware of how creepy he sounded, but he despised the seeker with his entire spark.

He might be an Autobot, but this was still a war. Starscream was their greatest enemy's second-in-command; his termination would give the Autobots a big advantage in the war against Megatron.

Sideswipe adjusted his gun against the Decepticon's head more firmly and started to pull the trigger...

"Sunstreaker? Sideswipe? Is that you over there?'" An accented voice suddenly startled them.

They turned toward its source to see Jazz standing in root mode on the road not far from them. "You were supposed to report every groon, guys! Are you taking this patrol seriously or just doin' your usual shit?" The third-in-command berated them, his hands casually resting on his hips. "What are you doin' there anyway?"

He leaned on the side in an attempt to better see what they were up to. "You playing hide n' seek?"

"Come see for yourself, Jazz, you'll like it!" Sideswipe hailed him over.

Curious, the Porsche walked to them and saw what they were busy with.

"Fragging-creation-of-a-petro-glitch!" he exclaimed. "That's Starscream? You snuffed him?"

"We found him like that," Sunstreaker explained. "He's still alive, though."

"He won't be for long if we leave him here," Jazz mused out loud. "I'll call Prime. I bet that'll make his day!"

oOo

Back in the present time

Dread filled Skyfire's processor as he approached the given coordinates. He couldn't see the scene very well from his position in the sky, but it clearly was a winged mech lying in his own energon down there.

He landed a few dozen meters away from where Sunstreaker, Sideswipe and Jazz stood around the damaged Decepticon.

"Good you came here fast, 'Fire!" Jazz came to him. "We have kind of a situation here. Open your cargo hold, we've got slag to get back to Optimus."

"Who is it?" Skyfire asked, trying to hide his worry. _Please let it not be..._

"Just Megsy's second-in-command, in pretty bad shape too. Found him on the side of the road," Sideswipe said, holding the Decepticon with Sunstreaker's help. They placed him inside of Skyfire, carefully enough so he wouldn't offline before they got him to Optimus Prime.

The shuttle-former felt his spark constrict painfully in his chest. But he couldn't let them know how affected he was by the event. "Push him a bit forward and to the left," he requested. "I can extend one of my energon lines from there. Hook him to it, so we have more chance to keep him online."

They did as instructed. When everybody was secured in his cargo hold, he didn't wait any longer to take flight.

'_Don't die on me, Starscream, please'_, he pleaded silently. _'I won't be able to stand it if you die'_.

Three tense breems later they were at the Ark. Optimus Prime and Ratchet were already there, waiting for them.

As soon as everyone was out of his hold, Skyfire transformed and cradled Starscream in his arms. "I'll bring him to medbay," he informed Optimus. "He's too heavy for any of you." Optimus Prime wanted to argue that he was strong enough to carry the seeker himself, but it really wasn't the moment to argue. He and Ratchet followed the shuttle inside, almost stumbling to do so, for Skyfire was practically running.

In the hall, they passed a very shocked Red Alert and a mildly displeased Prowl, who followed after them.

"A word, Prime!" Prowl requested as they finally reached Ratchet's domain. "I hope this Decepticon is heading straight for the brig."

"We need to reinforce the security of the brig at once!" Red Alert was already panicking at the thought of having a Decepticon within their base. "I need to tell Grapple and Hoist, have them built an extra wall or something."

"Calm down, please, Prowl, Red!" Optimus sighed tiredly. "Starscream is no threat to us for the time being." He then leaned in to lower his voice so no one else than them could hear what he was going to say. "We're not even certain he'll survive..."

"Alright," Prowl said, regaining his composure. "But if Ratchet brings him back to a fully functional state, I request him to be placed in the brig, under high surveillance."

"And I request that the brig's security systems be reinforced!" Red Alert added. "With your permission, I'll ask Wheeljack to enhance the force field, and then I'll ask Grapple to build a second wall in front of the external one!"

Optimus Prime glanced toward the medical bench where Skyfire had deposed the Decepticon with utmost care.

"For now," Optimus Prime explained to reassure his mechs, "I'll ask Ratchet to stabilize him enough so that he is no longer at risk off lining on us. Then we'll see that he regain consciousness and, depending on the explanations he'll give us, we'll take the necessary actions."

"That sounds reasonable," Prowl said with a nod. "You understand that he's a liability, correct? A great one too - we can't take any risks while having him inside of our base."

"I know, Prowl," Optimus sighed again, looking at the seeker with a strange expression on his face. "I know."

oOo

Ratchet cursed loudly when he saw the damage to the seeker's frame. He shoved everybody out of his medbay quite rudely, even a protesting Prime and a fretting Skyfire.

"I have your orders, Optimus," the medic said. "I'll follow them! Now out!"

"Ratchet, please allow me to stay!" Skyfire pleaded.

"No! Out! I'll inform you of his whereabouts when I'm done!"

Finally alone with his patient, the doctor got down to work in the tranquility of his now-deserted medbay.

He cursed at lot at first, because of the mess the seeker presented. He calmed down quickly enough, though, upon discovery that Starscream's wounds were not as deep or as function-threatening as they looked.

His cockpit was shattered, but the components inside were mostly undamaged, the flier's spark still protected under layers of armor. His whole frame had been bleached by what was probably a strong solvent. The metal was raw but the sensors didn't seem affected. As for his wings, they were bent at an angle, but still whole. Only a few sensors and relays needed replacement but his main flight gears were perfectly fine.

As for the dried up energon he was covered in, it was unprocessed energon. For all Ratchet knew, Starscream might as well have spilled his drink all over himself...

The damage to the wings had obviously been caused by the crash in the woods, Ratchet deduced, upon finding pine needles in the seeker's wing joints. The damage to the cockpit probably was too, but he couldn't be sure. There were hints of black paint on what was left of the glass; it looked like it might be another mech's fist mark.

Ratchet rubbed his own helmet and frowned. A simple punch in the cockpit, as painful as it may have been, wouldn't be enough to knock a seeker from the sky, and certainly not a seeker like Starscream.

Something here was just not right. The medic now suspected the Air Commander was faking it.

He took hold of the seeker's shoulder protrusions and shook him rudely. "I know you are not dying!" he yelled. The seeker was restrained and disarmed, effectively harmless. The medic risked nothing by waking him up. "Wake up already," he growled.

On cue, the seeker powered his optics. He blinked in confusion, just as if he had really been out of it, and finally turned his head toward Ratchet slowly.

The genuine fear the doctor saw in those optics made him regret his impulsive nature.

"Please," the seeker whispered, his fearful eyes turning desperate. "Please don't send me back!"

Ratchet stood there astonished. The Air Commander, pleading? What kind of trick was that?

Starscream freed one of his arms from his belt-like-restraints and grabbed the doctor's forearm weakly. Ratchet flinched away, but what the seeker said then, made him freeze on the spot. "Don't send me back to Megatron, I'll do anything...please...just don't send me back to him...or he'll kill me!"

Starscream's hand on his arm trembled as he tried to get a better grip on him. There was so much pain and fear in his eyes. And the way he was looking at him, so sadly, so pleadingly...Ratchet didn't have the spark to shove him away. "What did Megatron do to you?" he asked softly, almost forgetting what kind of mech he was talking to.

The seeker looked away from him, his eyes cast downward, and Ratchet clearly recognized shame. "He...he..." Starscream tried without success.

"He hurt you?" the medic supplied carefully, still talking like he would talk to a lost sparkling.

Starscream slowly nodded, off lining his optics. He seemed to regain a hold of himself then, because when he talked again, something dark colored his voice. He let go of Ratchet's arm. "You'll know it soon or later anyway," he said, wanting to sound as if he couldn't care less. "He raped me."

Ratchet gulped and he could feel his spark sink a little at the seeker's flat admission. The medic felt genuinely sorry for him and angry at the tyrant. How could a leader do that to his mechs, even for punishment?

"You know..." Starscream's strength crumbled again, "it wasn't the first time...but it was one time too many." He broke down in front of Ratchet, moving a hand to his face to hide his tears as loud sobs escaped his throat.

The medic didn't know what to do, so he bent down awkwardly over the med berth, unfastened the belts and gently held the seeker against him as he kept crying.

"No one will make you go back to the Decepticons if you don't want to," he told Starscream, hoping that would reassure him a little. He called Optimus, making sure to warn him he'd better come alone.

Starscream straightened himself up a little but only so he could hold Ratchet tighter. He buried his head into the medic's neck and squeezed him against his broken canopy. "Please!" he whispered between now calmer sobs. "Cover me up before your Prime comes in...I don't want to be seen like this."

Ratchet understood that the seeker referred to his missing paint job.

"I don't have paint here," he explained. "But I can provide you with a thermal blanket if you wish."

Starscream leaned slightly away from him so he could look at his face. "Yes, please."

As he witnessed so much pain and sadness on the beautiful face, Ratchet's spark missed a pulse. A thought crossed his mind and suddenly he realized that he wanted to keep the mech in his arms forever. He could already feel himself falling for the mech and that shocked even him.

He refused to let go of the seeker as he reached out to grab a blanket, still holding him as best as he could as he wrapped Starscream up in the blanket, then held him still, even if the seeker could no longer hold him back.

oOo

Optimus Prime softly knocked on the still locked door of the medbay only moments later.

Reluctantly, Ratchet let go of Starscream. "That must be Optimus. Do you feel ready to talk to him?" The seeker only nodded slowly. He clearly was apprehensive, which the medic could only understand.

Ratchet went to open the door, but only partially. "You can enter in a minute," he informed the Prime. "He needs to talk to you. Be nice with him, though...he's been through a lot."

Optimus blinked in surprise and confusion at that but eventually nodded. "I'll try not to aggravate him, then," he promised so Ratchet would finally allow him in.

The Autobot leader walked in and looked at the wrapped-up seeker, who was moving to stand at his arrival.

Optimus couldn't help smiling inwardly at the sight. The fearless Decepticon looked almost cute like this.

Optimus approached with caution, aware and displeased that the seeker was unrestrained. "So, Starscream, how are you feeling?"

Ratchet hurried to gently push the seeker back on the berth. "Don't stand yet...you need to rest."

"I'll be fine, " Starscream assured him, sliding down from the berth again. He wasn't crying anymore now but Optimus Prime noticed the stains on his face.

"Ratchet mentioned that you needed to talk to me?" he encouraged the seeker.

"Yes...I would be grateful if you agreed to grant me asylum." Starscream re-adjusted the blanket around himself, not wanting for the Prime to see even an inch of his bleached body.

"You want to defect from the Decepticons?" Optimus' surprise was clear on his face. "Why?"

"Because Megatron is worth slag as a leader and he lost sight of the cause he himself swore to defend. I no longer want to be involved with him or the Decepticons. I want this war to be over. I wish to help you defeat Megatron...and I want him to pay," Starscream explained. Anger and disgust painted his face as he mentioned his leader's name.

The Prime blinked; he'd never thought he'd hear those words from the Air Commander.

"But why defect now? The war has lasted for millions of years! Why didn't you leave Megatron earlier?" Optimus Prime demanded, suspicious of the seeker still.

Ratchet placed a hand on his leader's arm. "Remember what I told you. Be nice with him," he warned.

Optimus glanced at him and lifted his brows. Everyone's behavior seemed decidedly strange today, he remarked to himself.

"Because...in the past...I still had hope...I thought I could make him change." Starscream looked down at the floor as he spoke. "But since he made perfectly clear that I had no value outside of his berth...there's nothing more I can do to change him...but kill him. I have more chance to do so while being on your side."

Now, the Prime was shocked. Not sure if he heard that correctly, he asked, "You and Megatron? You were together?"

Starscream quickly corrected him. "Not in that sense. He has been using me for some time now...I'm not strong enough, in comparison to him, to fend him off when he has me cornered," he admitted.

Optimus Prime felt suddenly very stupid, angry and embarrassed at the same time. "I'm sorry to hear that, Starscream, know that..." But the seeker clearly wasn't finished.

"Even sparked me up once...then ripped the sparkling away from my arms and terminated it in front of me," he revealed, his voice breaking at the last word.

"I couldn't do anything...I was still recovering from the spark-splitting...I almost died too," he croaked out, his whole body shaking. Ratchet and Optimus were with him the next instant, close to him, each wanting to hold him.

"Get off!" Ratchet growled at Optimus in a low voice, "You are suffocating him!" He pulled Starscream into his arms and stroked his shoulder comfortingly.

The Prime was at a loss again, confused by Ratchet's possessive-aggressive behavior, weirded out by Starscream's confession, and even more confused by the seeker's own behavior.

"Alright," he said, backing off. "I'll have a general meeting...to explain to everyone that Starscream will be staying with us from now on..." he said, though no one heard him, except perhaps Starscream.

oOo

It wasn't an easy task for Optimus Prime to get the Autobots to accept Starscream as a new member of their team. Most of them complained vehemently, Prowl and Red Alert among them, that a Decepticon had nothing to do with them.

A lot of Autobots demanded reasons for Starscream's sudden change of allegiance. Optimus only said that Starscream no longer shared Megatron's politics. He felt bad for lying to his mechs, but he also knew that Starscream would never forgive him if he told them the truth.

The explanation didn't convince many mechs, but they could only trust their leader on that.

Time passed...

Many among the bots still didn't trust the ex-Decepticon, but others had come to know him better since the day he had first arrived, battered and traumatized.

Although they didn't know the real motives behind the seeker's defection, they supposed he had gone through painful things.

They had felt for him and accepted him for who he was now and were willing to forget what he used to be.

He had been completely repainted in his usual colors on the second day of his arrival. He had requested for the Decepticon insignias to remain on his wings, explaining that it was a way for him to never forget who branded them there.

Starscream, even though he was still not a true member of their team, behaved well. He never picked fights, not even when he was prompted to by the bots who liked to tease him about his origins. He knew they provoked him only to prove they were right to believe he was still a sparkless killer and that his true, monstrous nature would show itself if they pulled his wires the right way.

But he never indulged them. He remained calm and suffered the accusations while smiling.

He tried his best to be sociable around the base, but he could feel how unwelcome he really was sometimes; it made him wary in the other Autobots' presences.

So, most of the times, when he needed to go into the mess room to refuel, he just sat there and silently drank his energon while quietly listening to the others' conversations.

There were only a handful of mechs he felt comfortable with: Skyfire, with whom he had renewed their friendship, Wheeljack, with whom he shared the same passion for engineering and science, and Ratchet, who was now more or less officially courting him...

And Optimus Prime, who he was visiting right now.

Prowl intercepted him before he could enter their leader's office though. "I'm sorry, Starscream," he said, still tensing automatically at the seeker's sight. "Optimus is having a 'video conference' with Megatron."

The Autobot second-in-command watched as the expression on the seeker's face shifted quickly from slightly annoyed to extremely apprehensive.

"Don't worry, he won't sell you away...he'd never do that," Prowl deemed it necessary to reassure him.

Megatron had called several times during the past orns. Even if the warlord had no way to be sure that Starscream was with the Autobots, he kept trying to trade him back in exchange of cease-fire or energon. Optimus Prime denied the seeker's presence in his base every time Megatron called.

The warlord, obviously, remained suspicious.

Eventually, the door opened to a very tired-looking Optimus Prime. Prowl offered his leader a light smile in sympathy. "So, what did he offer you this time?"

"The insecticons," Prime replied with a sigh. He noticed Starscream's presence at last and his face immediately brightened. "Starscream! How are you today?" he asked, a smile in his optics at the sight of the seeker.

"The insecticons? He wanted to give them to you, really?" Prowl was visibly amused.

"Apparently yes." Optimus Prime nodded. "But I think he just wanted to get rid of them."

"Of course," Starscream interjected. "They have always been a pain in his aft. Always hungry, never obedient, careless. They take no orders from him, which - as you can imagine - doesn't please Megatron at all."

"Well, then I think I made the right choice not trading them for you," the leader joked, which Starscream took in good-humor. "You wanted to see me?"

"Yes, even though I have nothing important to tell you...I guess I just wanted to visit you." Starscream shrugged, smiling at him.

Prowl could see how this delighted his leader, so he deduced this was the right time for him to leave them alone. He grumbled something about paperwork and left the room entirely.

"Do you want to come in my office?" Optimus proposed. "Or perhaps would you accept to share a drink with me, in the living room of my quarters?"

Starscream smirked at him, very much aware of the effect he had on the Autobot leader. "If I didn't know you better, Prime, I'd believe you are proposing a date."

"I wouldn't!" Optimus quickly spluttered. "I know of your involvement with Ratchet."

"Ratchet might be courting me now," Starscream corrected, "but I want it to be clear that it doesn't mean I am involved with him, not yet at least. But still, I'd appreciate a drink with you in your office."

"Well, that is an arrangement I am willing to make," Prime said, a little disappointed that he didn't get to invite the seeker in his own sanctuary.

They sat with their drinks in the Prime's office, each on one side of the large desk, professionally friendly.

"I know I told you this before already," Starscream said after a moment of companionable silence. "But I'm ever grateful to you for accepting me in your base and offering me protection from my old master."

"There's no need to thank me," Prime said with a gesture of his hands, just happy to get to look at the ex-Decepticon every day.

"My program doesn't allow me stand aside when someone is in danger. By all means, I couldn't let you return to him." He didn't want to say Megatron's name in front of the seeker; it always made Starscream ill-at-ease whenever his ex-leader's name was mentioned.

"My gratitude is all I can offer you though. I owe you still." Starscream smiled sadly.

"You already provided us with helpful information, you told us everything you knew about your old team...I think it is me owing you here, not the other way around." Optimus moved his hand to take hold Starscream's own; he was daring a lot, even just doing this.

The seeker's gaze immediately drifted to the Prime's hand covering his. Slowly, almost carefully, he retracted his own hand. "I'm sorry," he apologized. "I still don't feel comfortable when being touched."

Optimus wanted to slap himself for his lack of tact.

"I understand and I apologize. I don't want to make you uncomfortable." He looked down sadly, taking his hand back.

Starscream took it back though and held it. "But it's ok when I'm the one who initiates the contact." He smiled. "I guess I'll heal with time."

"I know you will," Prime said, uncharacteristically happy at the simple gesture. "You are a strong mech."

Starscream cleared his throat. "So...Megatron still doesn't know I'm here, right?"

"He suspects it, but I keep denying it. Don't worry, even if he finds out, you are safe here."

"I know and I'm grateful for this. I hope the information I provided you with will prove helpful in the future." Starscream smiled around the cube he brought to his lips.

"So, Skyfire told me you renewed your old friendship?" Prime asked, wanting this conversation to last some more. He had come to enjoy the seeker's presence greatly and felt that he liked him a bit more every orn that passed. He already had admired his looks and natural grace back when Starscream was still a Decepticon.

Defecting to the Autobots had made the seeker suddenly much more...approachable.

Of course, Optimus was aware that Ratchet also had feelings for the mech. He also knew that, if Starscream were to accept the medic's advances and became involved with him, Optimus Prime would accept it and stand aside.

He would never impose himself, just like he hadn't imposed himself when Elita One had told him she no longer had feelings for him. He understood; she loved someone else and he moved on.

"Yes," Starscream said. "I have resented him for leaving me but now I can only understand his choice. Now that we are basically on the same team again, I can no longer let old resentments get in the way of our friendship. Skyfire is a good mech. Who wouldn't want to be his friend?"

"Indeed," Prime said, and then they fell back into a comfortable silence, Starscream still holding the Autobot's hand.

They remained like this a moment longer, but then Optimus had to take care of his own duties, so Starscream took his leave.

oOo

Not having duties of his own to occupy himself, the seeker went to the medbay were he was almost certain to find Ratchet at any given time of the day.

Indeed, the medic was there, busy tidying up what he liked to call 'his domain'. He looked up at Starscream's arrival, greeting him with a sweet smile. When you buffed the grumpiness away, Starscream had discovered that the Autobot medic had, as the humans would say, a heart made of gold. He was nice, caring and very much aware of everyone's needs and interests.

He was nothing, Starscream mused, like the 'Hatchet' his fellow Decepticons used to joke about.

"I hope I'm not disturbing you," the seeker said, still standing at the door.

"You should know by now," Ratchet pulled him in gently, "that you never disturb me!"

Starscream allowed his doctor to embrace him. "Do you need help?" he proposed.

"No, thank you..." Ratchet said. Then, he thought of something and added: "Well, if you really want to do something, my laser scalpel over there is not working. You can repair it if you wish."

The seeker nodded with a smile and went to have a look at the broken tool. They worked in silence, Ratchet cleaning up his medbay while Starscream tinkered.

"Are you hungry?" the medic asked as he stowed his cleaning supplies away. Starscream had finished repairing his tool some time ago and had just been sitting there, watching him clean his stuff.

"Not really," Starscream said. "I'm a bit tired. I think I will go to berth soon."

"Oh," Ratchet looked slightly dejected for a short moment. "Alright then...I guess I'll see you tomorrow."

"Of course." Starscream smiled, walking to where the medic stood. He stopped right in front of him and took the tool Ratchet had in his hand. "By the way...I wanted to tell you how grateful I am for everything you did for me."

The seeker placed the tool somewhere behind him and took Ratchet's hands in his.

Ratchet looked at their joined hands. "It's only natural, I could never let you go back to the Decepticons...I promised, remember?"

"You did. I'm thankful you meant it," the seeker whispered, leaning in.

Ratchet's spark fluttered in its casing and he felt like a youngling again as Starscream's lips touched his. He powered his optics off, wanting to enjoy and bask in the blissful moment for as long as it lasted.

It was over too soon. The seeker pulled away with a smile. "I'll see you tomorrow. Good night, Ratchet."

"Good night Starscream," the doctor whispered back, a very happy smile of his own decorating his face plates.

oOoo~ooOOOoo~ooOo

This is going to be a three-parts story.

Thank you for reading!

Share your thoughts, please.


	2. Unwanted visitor

Hi! I know I said there would be only two chapters for this story, but I didn't expect it to be that long!

I cut the last chapter into parts. The story flows better like that.

Continuity: G1

Warning for this chapter: Megatron wants to see the world burn, a few kisses, some foreplay, nothing too graphic.

Pairings ( for the whole story): Megatron/Starscream, Soundwave/Megatron, Ratchet/Starscream, Optimus/Starscream, Skyfire/Starscream.

A big thank to the wonderful person who proposed to beta this chapter, '_Accidentalzombi'_

**Part 2: The unwanted visitor**

The next morning, the sky over the Ark was as bright as the day Starscream had arrived.

The sun was about to rise; already its light filtered above the horizon, setting the sky on fire. Optimus Prime stood just outside of the Ark and contemplated the sight, basking in its beauty. He liked to watch the sun rise, especially during early spring days. The light always seemed so much more intense then, as intense as the hope in the Autobot leader's spark.

He sighed almost contently, but the sound held a hint of longing. A few clouds, long and thin like a silk veil, stretched out in the expense of blue purity. The rising sun gave them a pretty red color; they made the Prime think about the latest addition to their base.

_Starscream_. So much potential for peace in so beautiful a mech.

'_It really isn't my fault'_, Optimus reassured himself. If he ended up falling in love, who could blame him?

The seeker had given a new energy to his hope. The Autobot now felt allowed to dream again, to dream about a better future, one that was close at hand. He could almost see it marked on his calendar - the day the war would end, thanks to their new-found advantage.

He didn't dare hope anything for himself, since the very thought seemed too selfish. Yet the memory of Starscream's hand in his was one that he would cherish for a long time.

'_Perhaps'_, he told himself, '_I would be happy enough if Starscream __was happy. No matter whose arms he chose to recharge in or whose face plate he liked to kiss'_.

If Optimus was to be honest, he'd have to admit that he wanted to be the mech Starscream chose to do these things with. Perhaps then Optimus Prime could forget the pain of his separation with Elita One. He was almost certain Starscream could do that for him, could bring the happiness back in his broken spark.

"Optimus!" Someone shouted from behind him, effectively pulling the Autobot leader out of his reveries. He turned around and frowned as a distressed-looking Red Alert ran his way.

"I've been looking for you for breems!" he protested, pulling at Optimus' arm. "You need to come to the command center!"

"What is it Red Alert?" Prime followed nonetheless; if it affected his security officer so, it was probably an emergency.

"It's Megatron! He wants to talk to you, now! He threatened me with all sort of things if I didn't pass the call," Red Alert explained, his hold still tight on the truckformer's arm.

Optimus sighed deeply in annoyance. Would Megatron ever quit?

He couldn't care less about his enemy's empty threats as he knew he had the advantage. Starscream had given him precious information that he would use very soon. With minimal damage and a little dose of luck, it was just a matter of orns before the tyrant fell and his Decepticons surrendered. Inwardly, Optimus chuckled.

"Don't worry, Red," Optimus reassured his mech. "Megatron's threats bear no value. He can't risk attacking the base where we have a tactical advantage, thanks to our defense system. You should know that, you yourself saw to the guns' construction and placement."

"I know..." Red Alert mumbled, not wanting to admit how much Megatron could scare him at times like this. The warlord was, for lack of a better term, _extremely angry _that morning.

When the two Autobots entered the command center, Teletraan One's screen was indeed displaying the image of a seething gunformer.

"It's about time, Prime!" he growled.

"Greetings to you too, Megatron." Optimus stood in front of the screen, his arms crossed on his chest. He held himself straight to give an image of self-confidence. "What do you want?"

"You know very well what I want!" Megatron spat. "My Second-in-command. I know you are keeping him."

"Now why would I do that, Megatron?" Optimus asked, amused by his enemy's rage. These kinds of violent emotions were always proof of weakness. All the negative feelings in the world, such as anger and greed, existed only for the purpose of hiding one true feeling: frustration.

"I can think of many reasons," the Decepticon leader snarled, "but I don't want to hear them. You will give Starscream back or I'll set the first populated city on fire!"

"Leave the humans out of this, Megatron!" Optimus warned. "Attacking innocent beings is nothing but proof of your cowardice!"

"If only the smell of burnt flesh can make you change your mind, so be it!" Megatron proclaimed. "But perhaps we won't have to resort to that. Let Starscream go and I'll let the humans live their useless lives in peace."

"There's just a small problem with that plan," Prime informed him. "Starscream is not here!"

On the screen, Megatron's optics flashed molten lava. "You lie! We have found his traces and they lead straight to your base."

It was a bluff, Optimus deduced. There was no way the Decepticons could have tracked Starscream's signature back to the Ark. He had been transported there by the air - no ground traces could be found.

"How could that be, since he's not here?" Optimus stood his ground, his countenance unwavering.

Megatron, obviously, wasn't impressed. "My offer still stands, Prime. Give him back or thousands of humans will perish by your own fault."

"How do you suppose I can give him back, Megatron?" Optimus Prime retorted. He frowned and made a show of being thoroughly annoyed. "We. Do. Not. Have. Him!" he repeated, his voice raising. He punctuated every word with a sharp gesture of his hand.

Megatron's frown seemed to intensify even more. "If you have terminated him, Prime, I swear I'll set this entire world on fire."

The Decepticon leader growled dangerously, but Optimus thought he heard a hint of worry in the warlord's tone.

'_Impossible'_, he reminded himself. Megatron only wanted his pawn back to use and abuse.

He decided to try another approach. "We had him," Optimus Prime admitted, "but he escaped on the very first night of his captivity."

Megatron looked confused for a brief moment, but his expression eventually turned suspicious.

"Let's pretend for a moment that I believe you..." he started. "Was Starscream damaged then?"

"He was damaged when we found him, but we repaired him. He escaped our vigilance and we have absolutely no idea where he could be as we speak. We honestly thought he would have rejoined you by now." He let that sink in before continuing. "Perhaps you should ponder the possibility that he may not want to go back to you, Megatron," Prime finished calmly.

There was a loud noise from Megatron's side, from somewhere off screen. The warlord muttered something Optimus couldn't quite catch.

"Are you alright, Megatron?" Optimus couldn't help himself.

"Shut up, Prime! I have all the reasons not to believe you." Megatron calmed down, somewhat, but Optimus could still see his obvious distress. "But I'll present you with a new alternative."

"I'm all audios." Optimus shifted his weight from one foot to the other.

"You will let me in your base so I can attest of my lieutenant's absence and see for myself whether you lied to me or not." A light grin appeared on the warlord's face plates.

Optimus raised a brow ridge. "Do you really expect me to accept?"

"But you don't have a choice, Optimus!" Megatron informed him. His tone had gained confidence and his light grin morphed into a broad one. "You will let me in. If you don't, I will conclude that you are indeed keeping Starscream captive and I shall follow up on my threat. Devastation by fire makes for a most beautiful picture. Don't you think so, Prime?"

A long silence followed the Decepticon's not quite question, during which both faction leaders stared at each other. Megatron wore a confident grin while Optimus, a thoughtful frown.

"When you come," Optimus spoke eventually, "come unarmed."

"See how compliant you can be when given the right incentive?" Megatron mocked him. Then, just like that, the communication ended.

Optimus Prime sighed deeply, his optics downcast in frustration. It was ironic, seeing how he had enjoyed the same emotion on his enemy's face moments earlier. Sometimes fate had twisted ways to remind you that nothing was easy in this world. Or in any other, for that matter. He rubbed his hands over his face, thinking fast.

OOo

This early in the morning, Wheeljack hadn't expected so much company. The lab looked suddenly too small for all the mechs currently working in it.

'_It's a wonder how they can all feel comfortable working in so cramped a space'_, Wheeljack thought.

He personally did not appreciate the fact that he only had a small table at his disposal to adjust the settings of his latest invention on. Aside from the engineer's muttered curses, no one else appeared to complain about the current conditions.

Perceptor was studying some kind of rock he had found on patrol the previous day. Skyfire was still busy with his organic specimens and, in the corner further from Wheeljack's spot, Starscream was doing something the engineer couldn't see.

Curious, and too distracted by the activity of the place to continue with his own work, he stood up and walked to where Starscream was.

"What are you doing?" he asked the seeker, while trying to see past the expense of his wing.

Starscream twisted around a little to let him see. "I am building scramblers," he said, indulging the other scientist's curiosity.

Intrigued, Wheeljack inquired, "What for?"

"I can't stand being locked in one place for long," the seeker explained. "I need to stretch my wings from time to time or my joints will become stiff out of disuse. With this energy signature and electromagnetic waves scrambler," he lifted the device so the other could see it better, "I'll be able to fly around as much as I want. Nothing will detect me, not even radars."

"Oh!" Wheeljack leaned slightly closer, always interested when it came to devices of any kind. "But why are you building three of them?" he asked, eyeing the other, already completed, egg-like shells.

"One for me, one spare and one for Skyfire." The mech whose name had just been mentioned turned around at that.

"You are making a scrambler for me?" Skyfire asked. The large Autobot looked genuinely surprised, flattered even.

"Of course!" Starscream exclaimed, turning to look directly at the shuttle. "If we fly together and they detect you, then they will detect me as well. Better to take no risk and scramble both our signals. I'll be finished soon." A pause, then: "How would you like a flight when I am done?"

Skyfire's face brightened. "I would like that very much," he said softly, a fond smile on his lips.

The moment was spoiled by a knock at the door and Optimus Prime's muffled voice coming through. "Wheeljack, Skyfire, is Starscream with you?"

"Yes, he's here, Prime!" Wheeljack answered. "Come in!"

The door gave way to an agitated-looking Prime, flanked by Ironhide and Prowl. Red Alert could be heard fretting over something not far behind them.

"We have a situation," the leader informed the scientists. "Megatron is coming for Starscream." He turned toward said mech. "We don't have much time. You need to leave the base and hide, and you need to do it now."

"Those scramblers you built couldn't come at a better time then," Wheeljack remarked to a slightly confused Starscream.

"I expected Megatron would do something like this," the seeker stated, picking up his devices. "There's no time to lose then. I'm on my way."

"I'll go with you!" Skyfire declared without thinking.

Starscream considered him briefly, then nodded. "Okay."

"This way." Optimus Prime hurried them toward the back exit. "Once you are out, pass by the volcano and take flight only when you are on the other side. That will provide you with a cover if Megatron were to arrive too early."

Outside of the lab, the whole base was preparing for their enemy's arrival. Bots hurried to their respective battle stations, the noise of their chatter loud within the crowded halls. It was not an easy feat to walk fast and straight.

Skyfire did the sensible thing and took the front, opening a way for Optimus Prime and Starscream.

The Autobot leader placed his hands on the seeker's shoulders and leaned in, his mouth piece close to Starscream's audios. "Be very careful out there," he whispered. "I don't want to lose you to Megatron or his Decepticons."

"Don't worry," Starscream lightly turned his head and spoke in the same tone. "Thanks to the device Skyfire and I carry, we'll be invisible to them. They won't detect us."

"I hope so," Optimus said, before gently nuzzling Starscream's cheek. The Autobots who passed didn't pay attention to them; they were too busy and some were panicking. The ex-Decepticon turned his head toward the Prime some more. His cheek brushed against the Autobot's mask and his optics dimmed.

The kiss lasted only an astro-second. The next, Starscream and Skyfire were out in the open, Optimus watching them run along the volcano's black wall. Now only time mattered.

OOo

Megatron arrived at the base a few breems later.

The Autobots, although not completely ready for their enemy's arrival, stood bravely at the Ark's main entrance, their guns raised. Megatron had just landed in front of them.

Ironhide, who flanked the Prime along with Prowl, discretely leaned closer to his leader. "He's alone, Prahm. Why don't we destroy 'im while we have tha chance?"

Before Prime could do as much as think about an answer, Megatron spoke.

"I came alone and unarmed, Optimus Prime, just as you requested. But before you or your mechs think of doing something stupid, watch this!"

The tyrant switched on the holo-projector he had clasped to his arm instead of the usual fusion cannon. The hologram displayed an image that made most of the Autobots gasp, various expressions of indignation appearing on their faces.

The image, obviously a feed from Reflector's lens, showed a fair number of Decepticons perched on a seemingly tall building. They had captured a dozen or so humans and were threatening them with their weapons. Several mechs among them held flame-throwers.

"If you so as much as bruise me," Megatron warned, "those humans will die and their city will burn to ashes. Whatever you do, you'll arrive too late to save them."

"You are bluffing!" Ironhide shook his fist threateningly.

Optimus placed a comforting hand on his arm to silence him. "We can't risk those people's lives," he whispered to him.

"Autobots! Lower your weapons!" Optimus commanded. "Megatron, follow me. I will lead you through our base." He beckoned his arch-enemy over politely, loathing the moment. He couldn't wait for this 'inspection' to be over.

"I don't need an escort, Prime," Megatron retorted. He then marched arrogantly toward the entrance, his head held high in a perfect show of superiority. He paused upon reaching Optimus. Megatron turned fully toward him and gave him his sweetest smile.

"What is this? You're not offering your guest a drink?" Megatron faked offense. "Oh well, since you seem to have forgotten your manners, I'll accept your offer - the one you never made - of quality high grade."

oOo

Skyfire and Starscream were safe. They had escaped easily and undetected, thanks to their scramblers. While they had been prepared for a long flight, fate decided otherwise. They only had to fly straight ahead for five breems before Skyfire found the perfect hiding spot for them.

"There's a cave somewhere along the flanks of this mountain," he informed Starscream. "I spotted it some time ago. Its ceiling is high enough for me to enter and has several galleries that spread in seemingly random directions. No one will find us there, and even if they did, we'll hear them coming."

"You are a genius, Sky," Starscream commented, following the shuttle toward the entrance of the cave. It was indeed big enough to allow them in, as it drilled deep into the mountain's core.

They walked carefully into the galleries, mapping them into their data center to make sure they wouldn't get lost in the intricate labyrinth. Starscream, never one to enjoy underground trips, concentrated on his mental drawing of the cave. After some time, the passage tightened and they had to stop and sit down where they were. Now all they had to do was wait for the "all clear" and hope Megatron wouldn't overstay his welcome.

It was so dark that they could only see each other's optics, which made for a very bright source of light in contrast with the deep darkness surrounding them. Too bright, they decided. Anything that could help their potential pursuers in their search needed to be taken care of.

Even though reluctant to do so, they switched their optic sensors off and complete blackness engulfed them.

It was uncomfortable, to say the least. The ground was hard and uneven under their plating and the virtual weight above their heads made their systems twitch in discomfort. Being blind didn't help at all. They switched their radar on, since it was the only way for them to keep sentry.

The echoes they received from the walls of the cave, too close all around them, only reminded them that they didn't have much freedom of movement.

"Doesn't it remind you of the old days?" Skyfire muttered, breaking the too thick silence.

He couldn't see Starscream, but imagined his expression fairly well. His optics would be dimming in thought and his face would have that little frown that Skyfire had always found cute.

"Are you referring to that planet we thought uninhabited?" Starscream asked, after a thoughtful moment of silence.

"Hiliriom," his friend said. "When we discovered that, in fact, the planet was inhabited and its population was quite big and hostile. Do you remember? We had to hide for some time in a cave similar to this one."

"It wasn't the same," Starscream said coldly. "That cave was larger, almost comfortable, to stay in."

Skyfire smiled fondly at the memory. He nodded his head, forgetting that his old partner couldn't see him. "And then we found that underground lake. The water was clear and warm..."

He heard a long sigh from Starscream and immediately concluded that his friend was feeling as nostalgic as he was, at the mention of their past adventures.

"We thought we'd never get out of that place, we thought we were going to die," the seeker mused out loud, a light touch of bitter resentment in his voice, which thankfully Skyfire didn't hear.

"And that is one of my fondest memories..." Skyfire admitted carefully. Starscream only snorted.

"I wonder how long that will take," he said, changing the subject abruptly. His tone was clearly annoyed.

"What?" Skyfire asked, confused by the rhetorical question that didn't quite fit in their previous conversation.

"Megatron." The seeker huffed. "How long before he's done and we can go back to base?"

"You miss Ratchet, do you?" the shuttle asked, redirecting the conversation none too subtly, the obscurity helping his boldness. He knew he shouldn't ask things like that, but ever since he had heard the rumours spreading around the base about his old friend being involved romantically with the medic, he wanted to know the truth.

"I miss being out of this cave," Starscream retorted, voice harsh with annoyance. His natural lack of patience made him edgy and this only added to the discomfort he felt having to be in such a place for an unknown length of time.

"Why should I miss Ratchet?" he added, almost as an after-thought.

Skyfire imagined the seeker's head tilting on the side in wonder or curiosity and smiled.

"I heard rumours," he explained, "about you and him being together."

"Since when do you listen to rumours, Skyfire?" Starscream snorted again and chuckled, mocking him. "Ratchet is courting me, but I'm afraid I won't be able to respond the way he wishes me to. He's a good mech, yes, but I'm not sure. Feelings are not something I can deal with right now."

This reassured Skyfire and disappointed him at the same time. When he didn't reply, Starscream said nothing more and they fell back into an uncomfortable silence.

After some time, Starscream spoke again. "You were the first to condemn the corrupt senate," he said calmly, softly. "In the past, you used to say that our world would be better without them."

Skyfire had been replaying selected scenes of their past adventures in his head. Nothing was better than memories of the past to help the future come sooner. Starscream's unexpected and bitter words startled him.

"Yes," he mumbled. "I said that."

"When you disappeared and I came back without you," the seeker continued, "I went directly to see the council, to beg them to organize a rescue mission for you. They wouldn't listen. They wrote you off as dead and accused me of your assassination. I was fired from the University. They took my work away, destroyed it, and threw me in Kaon's prison..."

Skyfire gasped, shocked. He extended a hand and searched blindly for the other mech, wanting and needing to bring him comfort.

"I'm sorry, Star. I didn't know." He heard a light scraping of metal against rock. Starscream had sensed the proximity of his hand and leaned away from the touch. He wasn't finished.

"I was so happy when I found you, I had honestly never thought you survived...but then you left me for the Autobots...for those you used to criticize openly, for those who took us apart and who disgraced me."

"I never meant to abandon you, Star." Skyfire's hand reached out again. This time, Starscream didn't flinch away. "But I became aware of how much time had passed. The Autobots had changed and I could never have followed a sparkless monster like Megatron. Optimus Prime and his mechs helped me and welcomed me in their ranks. They have been really good to me...and they have done just the same for you. Certainly you have changed your mind about them now?"

The red seeker held onto his big hand. "Yes, I have, and I can only recognize that they have indeed changed. I'm grateful for what they have done for me."

He shifted his position carefully, so as to not damage his wings on the cave's wall. He slowly moved to lean against Skyfire's larger frame. "I needed to tell you all this, to get closure," he whispered. "To finally leave our past to rest."

The gentle giant slid an arm around the seeker's shoulders, careful of his own force and of his friend's delicate wings. "It was the right thing to do," he commented, an obvious fondness to his low voice. "And I glad you told me all this." Starscream's body was tense against him.

"You know, Skyfire..." he whispered hesitantly, "in that cave, when we uncovered the underground lake, what we did then..." Skyfire held his next intake, his own frame suddenly tense. "...it was nice," Starscream finished, leaning closer, his voice lowered into a husky breath.

oOo

Back at the Ark, Megatron was parading through the place like it was Darkmount itself.

A very aggravated Optimus Prime followed him as he went, praying to all gods that this visit didn't last much longer. The Decepticon leader had investigated every room, every private quarter, even going as far as to inspect the engine room. He looked into cupboards, under berths, and even pulled up a ladder to crawl partway inside the ventilation shafts.

"You should conclude, by now," Optimus stated, annoyed by this cinema, "that your second-in-command is not here."

"I haven't found him," Megatron retorted, "but that is not proof that he's not here, only that he's not here _now_."

They walked down the hall leading to the medbay, which Megatron hadn't checked yet, along with Wheeljack's lab.

"Are you implying that we are keeping him someplace else, outside of the base?" Optimus made a perfect show of looking offended as well as annoyed. "That would make no sense."

"I haven't seen that Shuttle, Skyfire, yet," Megatron remarked after a brief silence.

"He's out on a scientific mission," Optimus lied. "He's been gone for meta-cycles."

"He'll be gone forever if I ever happen to meet him," Megatron said flatly. "Termination is a deserter's only rightful punishment." He stopped abruptly and turned toward Prime. "And if I find out he has Starscream, termination will be all he'll wish for!"

Optimus offered him only a blank face and wished he wouldn't have to pull this act for too long. "The medbay is there, Megatron. Let's get on with this."

The warlord pushed the doors open like he would if this had been his own throne room. "Ah, the 'Hatchet's lair!" he commented, looking at said 'Hatchet' malevolently. "Mind your wrenches while I visit the place, doctor," he added as a warning.

The medic seethed in silent rage as Megatron started to carelessly disturb the order of his 'domain'. Ratchet had always denied being an organization freak, but he was mindful of his workspace. He was also a little maniacal when it came to the disposition of his stuff, the order of his tools and the cleanliness of his medbay.

'_It is only natural'_, he thought. One appreciated working in an ordered, tidy place.

Megatron was downright ravaging the room. He opened crates and cupboards, flinging tools and precious material over his shoulder, uncaring of where they landed.

But more than the savage wrecking of his medbay, Megatron's presence infuriated the medical officer. He had the urge to grab something sharp and jump at the Decepticon's throat to stab the monster with it until he begged for his life.

Ratchet wouldn't spare his life because a mech like him didn't deserve to function.

He held tight onto one of the medical benches, using it as an anchor to keep his impulses in control, well aware that what he wanted to do and what he could do were two different things. But his stare bore deep into the warlord's plating and his optics conveyed all the destructive emotions Megatron's presence elicited in him.

As if feeling the stare, Megatron turned toward him and smiled. "Why are you looking at me like that?" he asked, greatly amused by Ratchet's boiling anger.

"Because you disgust me," Ratchet spat, potent venom lacing his words. Megatron merely laughed. The medic tensed automatically as the Decepticon walked toward him, suddenly remembering that the mech had, in his time, ripped sparks out of gladiators' chassis with only his bare hands.

Megatron towered above him, leaning down until his nose plate almost touched Ratchet's.

"I wonder how you will feel then," he growled low and sweetly, his mouth curved into a dark smile, "the day I drink the fuel of my victory right out of you and your friends' lines." He extended his glossa to deliver a long lick to Ratchet's cheek. The Autobot shivered in disgust and fear and couldn't prevent a light whimper to escape his constricted throat.

"This is enough, Megatron," Optimus Prime intervened. "You have no right to threaten my men. Are you done here? Shall we move on?" he said, gesturing to the door.

Ratchet sagged in relief when Megatron leaned away with a small, disturbing chuckle, finally following out after the Prime, exiting the place at last.

The Autobot leader led his arch-rival to Wheeljack's lab, the last step of this unwanted visit. Quickly, he keyed in the code, covering the panel with a hand so Megatron wouldn't see, even though the Decepticon didn't even watch what he was doing. He had a strange expression to his face and his optics searched for something on the ceiling, something he eventually seemed to find. Optimus followed his stare but saw nothing different there than the familiar, plain, orange-colored ceiling.

"Come in, Megatron," he pressed. "Not that you'll find anything of interest in there."

His enemy observed the room from the outside, poked his head in and briefly inhaled the air, but never entered. "Alright, Prime!" he said, turning away from the room and toward the Autobot leader. "I have seen enough. The humans will be released as soon as I am back to my own base, which I have to say, is much more comfortable and pleasant to the optics than this rusted wreck you call a base."

On that, he marched out, his steps confident. He knew where he was going, Optimus realized with dread. Of course his enemy had taken advantage of this visit to map the layouts of the base, drawing a perfect copy of its plan in his mind.

Megatron held himself like the champion he had once been as he made his way out, his nonchalant attitude befitting one who thought he owned the world.

No one saw what he left behind.

Optimus watched him leave and slid his hands on his face as if to rub the humiliation and the stress away. He sighed deeply, feeling not quite happy, but still relieved that this inconvenient visit was finally over with.

He walked to the command center and watched, on Teletraan One, as Megatron's echo left their radar range. His autobots assembled behind him and stood in silence, waiting with him.

He waited a moment more, for safety, and then sent a message to Skyfire and Starscream, to inform them it was now safe to return to base.

oOo

"Not a moment too early!" Starscream declared, eagerly leaving the cave with Skyfire in tow.

"Let's go back quickly!" the shuttle exclaimed. Pushing power to his engines, he caught up with Starscream and took the front position.

The seeker, who didn't appreciate being overtaken, passed him by the next instant, taking back his leading position. He ignited his thrusters some more, not quite fully, but that still allowed him to reach a speed Skyfire couldn't match.

Starscream rocketed ahead, just as eager as his partner to be back to base, back to the comfort of his room.

He had to wait for him in the end and when Skyfire finally landed, they both ran inside. They ran through the halls, laughing like younglings. Skyfire chased after him and it didn't take long before Starscream let himself be caught. He chuckled adorably as he turned into the shuttle's hold to place his hands flat on his broad chest. "My quarters!" he breathed. "Now!"

They moved apart and Starscream grabbed Skyfire's hand, dragging him toward his private room. They both ran there and, once arrived, the seeker quickly keyed in the code. He pulled Skyfire's head down for a forceful, heated kiss, and then pushed him inside hurriedly.

He had already commed Prime to inform him that he'd do his report later on, after a most-needed recharge.

Skyfire stumbled on his feet, thrown off balance by Starscream's rough shove. He landed on the berth, right where the seeker wanted him. The door slid close with a light hiss of air and Starscream didn't even take the time to switch the lights on.

He straddled his friend's big thighs, grinning from audio to audio.

"It seems you have me at your mercy!" Skyfire chuckled, desire seeping through in his voice.

"Who said I'll be merciful?" Starscream purred, looking down from his seated position. He mapped the offered body below him with his hands, searching for sensitive seams and wires.

"Oh Starscream..." Skyfire moaned hotly, his optics already dimmed by lust.

The seeker smirked, pushing his fingers into transformation seams; the shuttle squirmed beautifully.

When Starscream finally went down on him, all burning passion and feral energy, the thick door effectively muffled Skyfire's cries.

Somewhere above, hidden in the ceiling, two small, slanted optics flashed a bright crimson. The spy turned away, disappearing in the darkness of a ventilation shaft, so he could safely send the recording to his master.


	3. Love as a chemically-induced emotion

Hello! Thank you a lot for the feedback on this story.

Warning: This is not the last chapter yet, I'm sorry. :'/

Part 3: Love as a chemically-induced emotion

Two full groons after Megatron's departure, Ratchet was still working to restore his medbay to its usual, ordered and tidy appearance.

Most of the Autobots had relaxed back into their daily routine. After all, Megatron's visit, although unwanted and disturbing, had caused no casualty. The shock would dissipate before the end of the orn for certain and the next day, it would be like nothing ever happened. Ratched hoped so, he still had much work to do, fixing his workplace. Megatron had gone through the place like an hurricane, thoroughly ravaging it on his passage.

From time to time, he glanced toward the freshly repaired door, hoping to see a pair of white wings come through. The medic was somewhat disappointed. Since Starscream's confirmed return to base, Ratchet hadn't had the occasion to see him yet.

He had expected the seeker to visit him as soon as he came back from Skyfire's and his little 'escape-and-hide' trip. At the small ruckus that had accompanied Starscream's return, Ratchet had straightened up from his cleaning, an expectant smile on his lips, and his optics had focused on the door. He had waited, but in vain.

Some time later, a tired-looking Optimus had informed him that both the shuttle and the seeker, exhausted after their long and stressful travel, had retreated to their respective quarters to recover from the experience.

It was perfectly okay if Starscream wanted to take a nap, but Ratchet couldn't help feeling dejected. He hadn't wanted much, just see the seeker for a klik, and maybe steal a kiss from him. Just that, and hen he would probably have sent him to berth himself, because he was always so mindful of his patients' health.

He sighed. He was being stupid, fretting over such an insignificant detail. Starscream was tired and there was nothing else to it. The seeker would come eventually, all charismatic beauty, pretty wings and loving smile, telling him how efficient he had been, hiding from Megatron. Then he'd invite him for some energon and finally grant him another of his sweet kiss.

Wasn't all this worth a bit of patience?

Yes, Ratchet decided. He smiled and snatched some more broken tools from the once-clean, now sticky, floor.

oOo

Meanwhile, in the sunken Decepticon ship called 'Victory'...

Megatron sat, an elbow propped up on the console so he could rest his chin in the palm of his hand. Through Lazerbeak's eyes, he watched his traitor of a second-in-command kiss his old friend, the ex-Decepticon Skyfire.

He growled low in building rage at the sight. "So that traitor was there after all," he commented. Behind him, Soundwave listened in silence. "I knew it, his smell was all over the place!"

"Query: instructions?" The communication officer finally asked, more eager than he sounded to hear about the seeker's awaited fate.

"None for now," Megatron said, leaning back on his seat. "Lazerbeak will stay in their base and watch Starscream closely. When the time is right, I'll take measures...accordingly," he finished with a cruel smile. The screen displayed nothing more than a door now, but very telling sounds filtered through, amplified by Lazerbeak's special audio systems.

"Suggestion," Soundwave said, his tone somewhat smug. "Replace Starscream with more capable officer."

"hmm" Megatron didn't turn toward him. "Who do you suggest, then? Yourself?"

"Affirmative," the communication officer confessed, confident in himself. "Soundwave: superior to Starscream. Soundwave: most suited to be Megatron's second-in-command. Soundwave: efficient, skilled, loyal."

Megatron half-turned to look at him from the corner of an optic. "Yes, Soundwave, you are skilled, efficient and loyal. But do you seriously believe you could handle all of Starscream's duties?"

Soundwave seemed to hesitate, a little unsettled by the question, but he responded nonetheless. "Affirmative. Soundwave: willing to replace Starscream in unofficial duties, including personal services toward Lord Megatron."

"Oh really now, Soundwave?" The warlord laughed and turned back toward the screen. "I seriously doubt you could be up to _that_ challenge!" He said, purposefully insulting. He didn't like being coveted that way, by anyone who didn't have the guts to follow through on what they promised.

"But what about his duties as Air commander?" He asked. "His job as this base's top engineer? What about battle plans?"

"Soundwave: an engineer too. Also: efficient in running probability calculation," the officer defended himself.

"Soundwave," Megatron spoke in a calmer, gentler and condescending tone, "You are a very skilled, devoted communication officer and a very capable spy, and I need you as such. But you don't have what it takes to be my second-in-command."

Soundwave felt disappointed and offended, but he showed nothing of it and only nodded his head in agreement. He always obeyed Megatron, no matter what he thought of his orders. It wasn't his place to question them.

"But of course, in the unfortunate hypothesis that someday, somehow, I had to do without Starscream...You'd be the second on my list of candidates for his replacement. Then, and as per our customs, you'd be allowed to challenge the first candidate for the post."

Soundwave's visor flashed once.

"And if you still feel up to it afterward..." Megatron grinned. "I might allow you to try and impress me."

He stood up. "But this, I shall remind you, is only an hypothesis. For now, I plan to get my second-in-command back!"

Soundwave bowed his head and, swallowing his jealousy, chose not to further comment.

As Megatron turned away to exit the room, the loyal officer couldn't see the knowing smile that appeared on the commander's lips.

oOo

Ratchet had had enough. He was downright exhausted, and fed up with his cleaning work. He wanted nothing else but a replenishing cube of energon and a comfortable place so he could rest his tired frame. Unfortunately, he was far from done; there was still a lot more discarded tools to store away and fix, as well as a lot of debris and filth littering the floor of the medbay that needed a thorough cleaning.

"Do you need help?" A voice made him look up from his work abruptly, startling him pleasantly and making him forget he was tired.

"Starscream," he acknowledged, smiling as he turned around toward the pretty seeker at the entrance of the room. He stood completely and, wanting to greet him more appropriately, walked over to where Starscream was. "I thought you would never come." Ratchet confessed, a hint of reproach in his tone as he embraced the winged mech.

"I take it you have missed me," Starscream chuckled with a touch of pride mingling with his ever-characteristic arrogance. "In which case, I must apologize;" he added "I was far too tired after my trip and needed those few groons of recharge."

"I forgive you," Ratchet conceded, pulling the seeker away from the door and further inside the room. "But since you don't look tired anymore, you are going to help me here, to make up for your prolonged absence!"

Starscream looked at him suspiciously for a klik, then smiled. "Alright," he said, finding himself in the mood to be generous. "I was going to do just that, anyway."

"Thank you," Ratchet smiled. "There's a crate full of broken tools over there," He pointed at said-crate. "See if there something you can do for them."

"Old Megabum did this?" Starscream asked as he picked up the crate and observed the damage dealt around the medbay. He took one of the tools in his hand and studied it.

"He did," Ratchet confirmed, purposely not mentioning the damage the Decepticon lord had done to his processor, when he had licked his face plates in a most disgusting way. "And what you can see now is nothing, I've already spent a few groons here, working to re-arrange what the slagface messed up."

"You know, when Megatron visits a place, whoever he leaves behind can estimate themselves lucky to still be able to rant about his coming by," Starscream stated coldly.

Ratchet frowned and looked up at him once again. Supposing that the seeker was unsettled, rendered uncomfortable by his ex-leader's visit, the medic thought it would be best to lighten the atmosphere. "That only attests of how rude he is." he retorted, good-humorously. That made Starscream giggle, and Ratchet melted a little at the sound of his cute little laugh.

"Starscream," He said, placing aside the tool he had been working on to gently brush his hand against the seeker's left wing. The touch was soft and light, but it made Starscream cry out in surprise. He turned around abruptly, pulling his wings out of reach of the medic's hand, and Ratchet stood confused at the angered expression he saw on the ex-Decepticon's face. In his hand, Starscream squeezed an energon blade, a blade he was obviously ready to use against him.

Ratchet stepped back involuntarily.

But he shouldn't have feared, because Starscream relaxed almost immediately. He bowed his head and started at the ground with a pained look and an expression Ratchet identified as annoyance. "I wasn't expecting your touch," Starscream explained himself. "It startled me, sorry."

"No..I..am the one who should apologize," Ratchet spluttered, surprised at how fast the seeker's moods and attitude could change. "I didn't mean to take you by surprise..I wasn't thinking."

"It's okay," Starscream said, and a grin flourished on his lips, washing the negative emotions away rather abruptly. "I won't hold it against you..,"

For an astro-second, his red optics subtly drifted toward a spot situated somewhere behind the medic, then refocused on him the next instant. He put his sky-blue hands on Ratchet's shoulders and slowly, gently, he pushed him against the nearest bench. "I am willing to forgive you...That is, if you let me enjoy you for a few." He purred huskily, smirking down at a confused Ratchet.

The medic opened his mouth to say something, but he really couldn't find his words; Starscream's lust-filled face was mesmerizing in its beauty, and Ratchet could only gape at him like a sharkticon out of the water. Starscream kissed him, shortly but deeply, and Ratchet couldn't feel the ground under his pedes anymore. He was struck by a strong, sudden and overwhelming wave of desire as the seeker's tongue proded his mouth for the shortest of moment.

"What do you say, Ratchet?" Breaking the kiss, Starscream whispered each word like a promise, "Do you think we could take a berth break?"

Ratchet gulped, it was odd how dry his throat feel all of a sudden. He let the seeker tower over him and dominate him, while he stood frozen and expectant like an inexperienced youngling.

Thankfully, for him, the cat that got his tongue felt generous and gave it back, so Ratchet could at least make a sound. "Y-yes" he said, very much willing to play along in what the seeker proposed.

Satisfied with the answer, Starscream nodded. The smile on his lips was one of the most gorgeous Ratchet had ever seen, he slid his hands around the medic's shoulders and neck, and pulled his head up toward his as the seeker leaned down to claim his mouth again.

Ratchet didn't know what to do with his hands, so he kept them where they were: clenched around the bench's edge. It really didn't matter to him if Starscream did everything and played the dominant role for the time being. The medic supposed he still needed healing before he could bear a touch he hadn't initiated himself. Anyway, he was just content to receive from Starscream what the beautiful seeker was willing to give.

He basked in the daze of the instant, amazed by how much a simple kiss affected him. It was true that he hadn't courted for quite a long time, but to say he was very much acting like this was a first love interest, it was rather strange and unsettling. Starscream was an oddity on itself, he decided, a beautiful and sinful unexpected happening in the loner medic's life. A gift, in a way.

To his chagrin, the moment didn't last for long. He was pulled out of his trance as Starscream's communicator suddenly activated.

/ Starscream, it's me, Optimus./

The seeker pulled away from the medic a little so he could reply. /yes, Prime? What can I do for you?/

/Well, your report on today's events, if you you don't mind. I'd like to file it tonight, so if you are not too busy at the moment...I'll be waiting in my office.../

/Acknowledged./ Starscream cut him short. /Be there in a klik!/

He switched the comm off and turned back toward Ratchet. "I'm sorry, but you heard the boss," the seeker gave him a small apologetic smile.

But the medic, still all worked up after Starscream's drug-like kiss, couldn't help letting out a small whine of disappointment. "It shouldn't take long," Starscream assured him, lifting a hand to gently stroke Ratchet's cheek. "And then you'll have me all to yourself," he added in a low and husky tone, promising wicked things Ratchet knew he wouldn't mind at all. He craved them already.

It was strange, how the seeker's voice could be unnerving at times, and yet still be able to affect a mech _that way_. Ratchet desired the seeker so much, he was ready to kneel in front of him and beg for more of his addictive attentions. This wasn't a normal reaction, this should have been, to say the least, greatly unsettling.

But Ratchet didn't even stop to think about it. And if he had, then he would have realized he couldn't care less. Starscream was like opium to him, a substance he wanted to consume, for as long as it would be given to him.

"Come back soon," he whispered, his optics dim with lingering lust.

"Don't worry," Starscream whispered back, "I will." and he leaned in to steal a parting kiss for the medic's mouth. Ratchet mewled in content, utterly bewitched. He never saw what Starscream did behind his back, wasn't aware of what he took and discretely subspaced for further use.

Once he was in the hall outside of the medbay, and after having made sure he was alone, Starscream spat something and wiped his mouth clean with the back of his hand.

_...The 'A' substance leaves absolutely no flavor in one's mouth, but that shouldn't be kept in for too long. Because, even if you don't swallow it, it might still find a way inside your systems._

_Good, I shall remember it. _

oOo

"Prime?"

"Oh Starscream, it is you! Please come in."

Starscream smiled at the Autobot leader charmingly and went to sit down on the chair placed in front of the desk. "So, Prime, how are you?"

"You know, I think you can call me 'Optimus' now. And I am fine, thank you."

"Well, am I glad, Optimus. You wanted my report?" The seeker asked nonchalantly, his optics powered down slightly to adjust to the dim lightning of the Prime's office.

"Yes. As I said, I need to file it tonight," Optimus Prime confirmed, opening a new work-sheet on his computer, ready to write down the seeker's accounting of his escape with Skyfire.

"Has Skyfire already filed his report?" Starscream asked casually while playing with a trinket he had found on the desk absently.

"No..." Optimus admitted. "He sent a message earlier to notify me he'd be absent for the day and the night, something about a scheduled activity he couldn't postpone."

Starscream shrugged. "Strange, he mentioned nothing about it."

"Skyfire is like that," Prime chuckled lightly, "He can't stay inactive for long and often leaves on an impulse."

"He hasn't changed," Starscream stated with a strange smile. But he soon remembered why he was there and, shooing the nostalgia away, he looked back up at the truckformer. "Now for that report, I don't have much to say. We found a cave in the mountains, forty miles-or-so from here, and we hid in there until you sent us the all-clear."

"Did you register the coordinates of that cave?" Optimus inquired, still typing the seeker's report.

"I think Skyfire did, but that cave is nothing special, and I don't see how it could be of any interest to you."

"I like to record every bit of topographic information I can get on our surroundings," The Prime explained, "As a former officer, you must certainly be aware of how important these details are."

At those words, something brief but dangerous passed in the seeker's optics. It didn't last long, only a fraction of astro-second, and Optimus didn't saw it; he was too focused on his computer's screen.

"Of course," Starscream muttered. "Maybe I could lead you to that cave someday, if you so wish."

"That would be nice of you." the Autobot said with a hint of genuine gratitude. Having finished his typing, he turned back toward Starscream. "Thank you for your time." Prime said. He hesitated a little about what he was going to say next, but said it anyway. "Were you busy when I called you?"

"Not really," the seeker lied, "why?"

"Oh I was just curious," the Prime, who looked slightly embarrassed all of a sudden, gave a small evasive gesture of the hand. "Are you busy now?"

Starscream smirked and leaned over the desk a little. "You know what I call what you are doing, Prime?" that clearly was a rhetorical question, and the seeker went on. " I call it 'beating around the bush'. Spill it out already...Or should I make it easier for you? Alright then." he paused, sighed, offered his most alluring smile and finally said: "yes, Optimus, I will be happy to share a drink with you in your private quarters."

Optimus Prime stood- or in this case, sat- dumfounded. "Y..you will?" He stuttered, his surprised expression gradually lightened up as nano-klik passed by.

"Why, why wouldn't I? You are far too modest to notice how interesting you are, Prime." Starscream said, moving closer to the autobot and taking his hand. "And your followers are as blind as you."

He pulled him up by the hand he had grabbed. "Come, let's have this drink." he encouraged, still pulling at the Autobot's hand.

"With pleasure," Optimus whispered, defeated, willing victim of the seeker's charm and youthful enthusiasm.

Starscream smiled and brought his hand in front of his mouth as he coughed a little. "sorry, the dust of that cave is still irritating my intakes."

Lazerbeak watched them leave and silently followed, not far behind. No one saw the spy, he was too good at his job, too stealthy to be spotted. But the spy could see everything and oversaw little to nothing. Starscream wasn't bad when he wanted to be discrete and his fake-coughing in his hand may have fooled the Prime, Lazerbeak did see the small capsule the seeker pressed in between his own lips.

The bird-like robot tilted his head, intrigued, and rejoiced at the thought that this particular spying around could finally prove highly entertaining.

He didn't have to wait for long, and he certainly wasn't disappointed by what he witnessed then.

As soon as the Autobot leader sat, after having placed the drinks on the small table in front of a comfortable-looking sofa, Starscream casually climbed on the Prime's laps and straddled him.

"Starscream..." Optimus froze in shock, having not expected such boldness from the pretty seeker. Not that he was displeased by the surprising turn of events, no, but he was certainly confused by how...easy Starscream was, so soon and so suddenly.

"Too fast for you?" Starscream chuckled low and lustfully, taking a small sip from his drink before he started playing with one of Optimus' antennas. He adjusted his position on the Autobot's lap until he felt comfortable enough.

"I have to admit, yes," Optimus said, feeling himself heating up already at their closeness and the tingle of pleasures he felt as one of the most sensitive part of his self was gently toyed with.

"Why should I wait further when it is obvious you desire me as much as I desire you?" Starscream explained. He started rubbing his aft back and forth against Optimus's thighs. "Please, Optimus, help me forget about _him, _make me feel that pleasure_ he _was never willing to give me!_" _he asked almost pleadingly, the movement of his hips intensifying. He leaned down abruptly and kissed the Prime's mouthpiece, furiously desperate.

Optimus pushed him away gently, yet firmly, wanting to take a good look at him. He debated with himself on what to do. This was confusing, but Starscream was a wonderful, stunningly beautiful creature and it had been too late already when Optimus had realized that he had already lost the fight with himself. He had already fallen for the seeker.

The seeker's offer was too tempting to refuse and the hesitation on the Prime's face slowly disappeared under the power of his desire for the beautiful mech on his lap. He let his mouthpiece part at the seam so it could slid back into the special compartments on the sides of his helmet. Then, with a growl of lust and an almost brutal move, he claimed the seeker's warm mouth with his own.

Lazerbeak stopped recording, unwilling to see more of that scene he found downright revolting. Discretely, he hopped back and disappeared in the shadow of a ventilation shaft. He had seen far enough already.

This time, nothing would stop Megatron from ripping the traitor to shreds.

_**To be continued. **_

**A.N: I know, I know, I said there would be only three parts to this. And even though this is not a valid excuse, this final part was too much of a pain to write. **

**I'd rather leave the last chapter of this story for later, when I'll be more inspired. I hope you won't resent me too much for that.**

Pool: Which one of my stories should I update next?

Before the end of times.

About him.

What is it all about.

Also, this story is in need of a less crappy name. If you have suggestions, please throw 'em in!


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